Man Marries Cactus

Yesterday was an interstng one for the small, agrarian community southeast of Phoenix. Geraldo Jones, local cactus farmer, professed his love to one of his plants and made the biggest commitment a human possibly could- marraige. The ceremony consisted of Jones's family and some of the ancestors of the cactus (cactus referred to as "Pointy"). When asked why a human would want to marry a plant, Jones replied,

"There was just a supernatural connection that I shared with Pointy from the first time that I saw her roots. She has a great color, her temperment was beyind anything that I had experienced with a human, and she just knows how to make me laugh."

We tried to ask Jones if he acknowledged that this marraige would not hold in the eyes of the stage. However, he told us that love will always find a way. He then refused to take anymore questions. We will do our best to keep the community up to date on the Jones situatuion, but as for now this is all of the information we have on the matter.